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Endurance: Tired of Suffering Patiently? #%$&$, Me Too!

Updated: May 28

To endure, according to the dictionary, is to patiently suffer (something painful or difficult). Depending on your upbringing, this definition probably makes sense based on modeling or teachings. Think about that for a moment. Has this definition been crafted to keep people trapped?

As I contemplate this definition that produces captivity, it has flames furiously shooting from my eyes and nostrils. This definition implies we must wait for things to change WITHOUT taking action. So are we to believe that we are born into suffering, then we die? And do nothing?? Someone once told me the definition of insanity is doing the same things, and expecting different results. Suffering patiently, is that not insanity?

In society, we are encouraged, nay I say programmed, to ignore our boundaries and neglect our intuitive wisdom for the sake of enduring – setting us up to fail spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. We become victims locked in a prison without escape. Those who have suffered patiently may become an immortalized martyr revered for their sacrifice. 

I don't know about you, but I have suffered patiently long enough. It is time for all of us to take action and re-write the definition of what it means to endure. It is time for a new perspective and approach to enduring life's challenges and changing them into opportunities for growth.

Pain and difficult situations are supposed to be our catalyst for growth and change, not a reason to be complacent. Many fall into the trap of thinking that some "Divine Being" allowed a difficult situation or circumstance to happen in their life. We take the bait and believe the situation or circumstance is out of our control. 

Is stagnation within our pain and suffering our only option? Our experiences in life should cause growth that allows us to forge a new path in life. Our first step must be to identify the areas in our lives that are causing pain and discomfort. Usually, those come to us pretty quickly! Our pain should cause us to pause and take note, asking ourselves, "What is the root cause of this situation?" You may be wondering why you would ask the root cause of a situation versus just the cause of that situation. 

Cause, on its own, implies external influence only and doesn't challenge us to seek internal reflection. As a word of caution, if our "inner knowing" determines that the root cause of something is only outside of ourselves and can only change by an action taken by others, this is a RED FLAG. Our ego has a way of placing blame externally rather than accepting there is healing that must take place internally for our circumstantial changes to occur.

Additionally, when we hyperfocus on the cause of a singular situation or circumstance, we lose sight of the big picture – a forest and trees situation. Each circumstance becomes an isolated event that masks the pattern and, ultimately, the root cause, creating a vicious circle.

If we do not ask the "root cause" question of ourselves regularly, faces and situations may take on different forms but at the very core you will find a repeating pattern. This question leads us to step two which requires meditation, internal reflection, and sometimes the help of a skilled hypnotherapist. But we must allow ourselves to see patterns and connections that cause a situation to recur in this life or past lives. When we can observe our situation from a new perspective during meditation or other internal reflection methods, we see the thread holding these experiences together. When this thread reveals itself, the magic begins.

To get to the root cause of a situation, I learned a very "simple" exercise. I say "simple" because it involves putting yourself in a state of stillness and allowing your mind to be quiet – sometimes not so simple. With your eyes closed, focus on breathing in and out. See yourself surrounded by a sphere of light (you choose the color) that completely encapsulates you. Ask your guides, angels, or any beings of light you connect with to join you in your sphere of light. Next, envision a beam of light from the heavens shining into your body through the top of your head. When you feel inwardly calm, begin by asking questions like, "Why is [name the situation/circumstance] happening?" If you don't sense an answer relatively quickly, try rephrasing it. Don't spend time questioning whether this answer is the right one. But immediately ask the next "why question" related to the answer you received. It is a bit like unraveling a crocheted blanket. Keep asking why until you reach the root. How do you know you've reached the root cause? You will feel the root cause very deeply in your spirit. For me, the root cause feels like pressure building in the middle of my chest or my stomach. Trust me. You WILL know it when the root cause confronts you! My experience has been pretty emotional. It is like seeing for the first time.

Now you have identified the root cause. Step three requires us to do something we often are taught to ignore from our earliest childhood memories. We must embrace our inner knowing and trust our intuitive wisdom to help us release the things that cause us to hold onto the patterns we see recurring in our lives. 

Releasing patterns from our lives can be achieved in several ways, but here are two that I find the most helpful: new perspective and forgiveness. 

I was recently watching "Madame Web" on Netflix. There was a point in the movie where the main character saw a situation from her mother's perspective. Throughout the main character's life, she felt abandoned and unloved. But this new perspective showed her the reasoning behind her mother's choices. The ultimate sacrifice her mother made was to heal her. 

While this may be a movie reference, the lesson still applies to our lives. What if we don't have all the facts? When we don't have all the facts, we often harbor resentment and anger and then pass judgment. When we harbor these feelings, it creates a lens that we see the world through. From there, we are off to the races. We project our expectations so we are never surprised by the outcome. We receive what we expect repeatedly. This illusion becomes ingrained as our truth.

Yet once all the facts of a situation are exposed, we can never return to the illusions we once believed. We experience peace that reverberates throughout our entire being. The resentment and anger we once felt is released.

So what do we do when, for whatever reason, we can't see a new perspective or the whole of a situation or circumstance? Forgiveness is the key. People seem to think forgiveness should only be extended to others if deserved. But the truth is that forgiveness is a gift we give to ourselves and is extremely powerful in releasing you from patterns. Forgiveness shifts our energy and opens us up to new possibilities. Forgiveness removes the lens we have been looking through.

Allow me to share an example from my life. My dad and I have traveled a rocky road throughout my life. And a couple of years ago, I found out my dad had passed away. A company he worked for released a magazine that announced he had passed away A YEAR PRIOR. It was devastating that his wife chose not to inform me that he died even though they only lived 10 minutes from our home. To intensify the situation, my mom found the obituary. There was no mention of me, my husband, or my children.

Even though I was deeply saddened by this circumstance, especially since there was no opportunity to reconcile this relationship with my dad, I had to cry my tears and then make the decision to forgive him. But I also recognized that I needed forgiveness for judging him in this situation. I was so disconnected from his life that my perspective was limited. This step brought me peace and allowed me to move forward. The deep sadness I felt melted away. Ultimately I felt compassion for my dad.

Forgiveness is a journey. This process reminds me of a garden in a sense. When you forgive you pull out big weeds, but sometimes there are smaller weeds that are hiding under the big weeds. And once your perspective changes by removing the larger weeds, it is much easier to see the smaller ones. 

I later realized I also needed to forgive my dad’s wife for excluding me from the grieving process. This was my small weed that needed to be pulled. But after following the same process I just shared, there was room for that compassion I felt for my dad to grow and extend to his wife as well. Today I am free of this. I remember it, but it does not influence my life, and I have grown because of it.

In the video linked below, a beautiful definition of endurance unfolds as we dive deeper into "Endurance." When facing pain and suffering, slow down to assess the root cause, then take action to make changes, even small ones. For a marathon, to improve their endurance, athletes don't just hope and wish for something to change to increase their stamina or speed. They take action to build endurance and achieve their desired outcome. 

Endurance becomes beautiful when you see it as an opportunity to grow and change the course of your life. Take action and build your endurance, nurture your strength, and know that you have the power within you to overcome life's toughest moments with grace and courage. You are stronger than you think, braver than you know – and with endurance as your guiding light, you can navigate through any storm that comes your way. For in these moments of endurance, our true strength is forged.

Jo Currier and Tracy Anderson owners and inspired creators of Light & Love Box

The two of us, Joanne Currier and Tracy Anderson, came together with our respective gifts and strengths to develop the Light & Love Box product line. Jo (left) is a teacher by trade, a Reiki Master (among many other certifications), and previously owned two metaphysical retail stores. Tracy (right) is a businesswoman, entrepreneur, and the inspired creator of each ritual. Our combined, intuitively guided vision is the creative force within every Light & Love Box.


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